Field Guide for Doubt
On the way towards something new, there will be a day and maybe more than one, where you wake up in the tight grip of anxiety, fear, doubt, and disbelief. The internal four horsemen. Every voice you’ve heard in your life that has told you you’re not being practical, your head is in the clouds, you should’ve done it another way, isn’t wanting something nonmaterial kind of childish, what are you doing, you’re messing up, you should go back to what you know. You might know these critical voices well. Your brain starts to try to lock in on contingency plans, worst case scenarios, all the things that haven’t worked out in the past, all the things standing in between you and the kind of life you really want.
Breathe and feel. Acknowledge that parts of you are really scared, and maybe for good reasons, you don’t need to evaluate their reasoning right now. See if you can notice what parts of your body feel active in response to these thoughts. Could be a churning in your gut, tension along the top of your shoulders and back of your neck, tightening around your chest, or a myriad of other places and sensations. Breathe and feel where your body is touching what is underneath you right now. Do this a few times.
Notice your mind is still actively engaged in these fearful thought loops, if so, take a few moments and recall one or several difficult situations you’ve made it through, don’t lock in on an analysis of the things that didn’t work out - if those come up you might observe that it was likely at times when you were making decisions prioritizing others’ wants, needs, opinions, and approval - recall the feeling of when things worked out and even after that, when what worked out felt ordinary. Perhaps say in your mind to the parts that are worried, “I hear your concern for me and see your desire for safety. I hear you. I see you.”
Return your attention to the feeling of your breath. If you can, stand outside and take a few deep, full breaths. If that’s not accessible, imagine yourself standing somewhere outside, notice the sensory elements of this place in nature and then take a few deep, full breaths.
Tell yourself that it is okay to feel any feeling that shows up, you don’t have to “do” anything with the feelings, see if you can observe them and your breath at the same time. Feelings pass through our systems in 90 seconds, if your thoughts reengage the feelings, they loop again. This is when an affirmation or tapping (EFT) practice can be really helpful - if you have either of those established you could use them now. If not, use this affirmation for now, “In this moment, I can feel my body, I can feel my breath. In this moment, I am okay.” You do not have to fix, solve, or change anything right now.
Take a few more breaths, maybe with a hand on your heart or belly, or wherever you felt strong sensations earlier and imagine comforting yourself like you would a child or animal you love - words aren’t important, the feeling of care is the point.
After a bit, stand up, shake it out literally - as big or small of a shake as you can, and then go do the most spiritual thing you can, like taking out the trash, doing dishes, eat a snack, cleaning, clearing, or nurturing something physical in your space. Some way you can care for yourself and your environment in a material and practical way. Use the echoes of these thoughts that show up during your day as a cue to feel your breath or the ground under your feet.